Please Read These Words

Dammit.  I lost it.  I had it right there….  Right There! in the back of my mind.  Now it’s gone.  It had something to do with posterity…  Plans to minimize regret.  I had a momentary triumph over mortality.  I had it, and then it left.  The vampires came and stole it away.  They brought it to the land of no sleep and no dreams, and used it up for themselves when the famine rain came down, spoiling the dark streets of their fun.

I can think of times when I wanted blood too.  It’s so easy to imagine wanting to knock someone’s head off in certain instants.  We’ve been there.  We are there.  We are in the wanting of the knocking off of heads in many places.  We don’t even care if children get in the way.  We want blood during that instant moment of faith when we are right.  That moment we deserve.  We fight off regret with more instants of faith built from nothing really, except maybe ashes.  We burn people alive, tear off fingers and toes.  We lob shells of explosives towards little arms no longer than pretzel rods. 

We are blood.  We’re scared no one will save us, so we do anything they say will save us. We scream at the vampires, vainly pleading they leave us alone.  We want our own immortality blend; and the search goes on.  The search goes on, and on, and on some more; continuing at the expense of little feet pattering after us, little fava bean lungs breathlessly crying out to us, telling us we’ve been immortal all along.